Social Media

Hello Everybody.

I capitalized “everybody,” because I’m sure at least one person reads this.

(I’m very sure of that fact, because it happens to be me.)

Anyways, just a disclaimer since I say similar things often, I am not desperate for readers, nor do I write solely so I can get reads, in fact I’m very content with writing constantly to myself, although having readers is definitely a great thing. I just make fun of myself too much to probably be healthy.

In fact, I haven’t told any of the people in my friend circles about this blog in very much detail. I mumble the url and hope nobody asks me to repeat it, because my url name sounds terrible out loud for some reason.

Another reason I have not really told anybody is because I feel like this is pretty much the last social media in which nobody follows me. See, when people follow you, you have to overthink absolutely everything, like, “Oh, what will they think of me? Oh, I’m spamming up their dashboard!! Oh, I hope this doesn’t come up in real life!!”

I say this because the other day my friends told me they knew I had made an instagram, and then I internally contemplated every single choice I made on there. I sincerely hoped they did not notice that my “quote of the ‘day’ ” had been the same quote for nearly two weeks.

Another reason no one should ever find out I made an instagram is because it is the most dull profile of all time. My first picture was a picture of my wall. (My literal wall, not my social media wall. And yes, I am proud of that pun.)  

See, the reason I made an instagram was so I could connect with followers that I had on another app which was closing down. So I was like, “Hey let’s just all meet up there then!” I had planned to make it mostly an art profile, because that’s what I did on the app.

So far, I have posted exactly one picture of art, one picture of ice cream, three pictures of the cafe I ate the ice cream in, and another wall. One reason I have trouble posting pictures is because my brain goes, “WELL, WHO CARES? NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM! JUST EAT IT QUIETLY.” There’s more pictures among there, which includes my paint palette, which I thought would give me the “art blog vibe.” So far, I think the only vibe that it’s giving off is that I could not care less, and it’s doing a great job of depicting the truth.

Originally, I had planned to never make an instagram, because I felt like I was the last survivor on Earth who did not have one.

I took great pride in that, yes. I was one of those people. I probably still might be, because I have not made a twitter yet.

I’ve thought about twitter before, but the problem is that the limit is 120 characters per tweet or something, and I can’t deal with that. I’m known for writing long paragraphs about the randomest things. I cannot comprehend the fact that I have only 120 characters to describe my lunch. I have a hard time fitting in quotes in my instagram bios:

Imagine twitter:

“Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”

― Albert Camus

THAT ABOVE, IS 138 CHARACTERS. Now we must shorten it.

“Don't walk <- me; I may not lead. Don't walk in -> of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and B my friend.”

― Albert Ca-

Continutation of tweet in second tweet:

“--mus.”

Plus, I would do my best to annoy all of my followers on twitter with constant weather updates, to the point where I had a negative amount of them. I’m not sure how this post turned out to be about social media, but nonetheless I am glad it did because it causes too many problems in life.

Let’s talk about google plus. I have chosen that platform as my main. It is where random people will add you and you will get creeped out because nobody does that on google plus. They are mostly elderly adults who are trying to fit in this new generation.

I think I made my google plus as a random move, like, “Hey, what’s this?” I do not think I meant for it to become my virtual newspaper.

Tumblr. Tumblr is where I first went when I wanted to make a blog, and I quickly found out that I would need a degree in Computer Science before I could successfully maneuver around it. I also could not take myself seriously on there. And ever since then, I only use my blog to post about things that I find hilarious among other things.

Puns. I post puns.

In between my strange sense of humor I also post about places that you have to pay money to look at, calligraphy, nerdy references to help me with essays, and more along that. I am trying to create an enormous “space” tag to quench my inner dreams of living in outer space.

Tumblr is so popular, and since I have not actively joined any fandoms, I have accidentally followed multi-fandom blogs. In conclusion, “Yes, I know what’s going on in your interests. Your fandom just released a trailer. It is becoming a meme. Heartbreak. Drama. Also, no, I’m not actually in the fandom, no, no. I just follow people. Not in real life, I mean. I’M SERIOUS, I DON’T DO THAT!!”

Sigh. Yes.

People on Tumblr are also very dramatic and there’s always tons of drama going around that is not for the faint of heart. People on there are also sick and tired of that drama, so every once in a bit you’ll see people who are confused and trying to decipher between a compliment or an insult since they get insulted so much.

(Yes.)

There’s so many different types of blogs on tumblr, your dashboard ends up in to be random purple aesthetic posts and then in the midst of everything are random memes you never asked for.

About memes. Memes can become memes in minutes, you just have to have a bunch of followers who have the same mind trail as you. The other day, a picture of a dress was going around, and everyone was arguing about what colors it was. This happened in nearly two hours, and I left my tumblr to come back with everyone freaking out about their eyes. I was perfectly okay, “It’s gold and white!! What is the problem!! What is the internet, even?!! Is this really what we have come to?!!?” This was before I found out that some people saw it as black and blue. BLACK AND BLUE. IT IS SO CLEARLY GOLD AND WHITE.

Ahem.

Anyways, for a full twenty-four hours,  the dress caused an internet explosion, and it was all very unnecessary indeed. It’s just science and brightness levels on your screen, or something. Or something.

In conclusion, at one point in everyone’s social media life, all you feel like doing is disabling all media profiles and living in a cave. Except. You spent a long time on those profiles. Maybe you will disable it another day. For now, you must post your articles about social media. On your blog. Which is also social media.